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my body





Dear Reader,

(This is a girlish post with girlish information. If you're not into that sort of stuff, now is the time to exit.)

I have gone back and forth on whether I should post about recent experiences I have had. They are very personal, scary, and insightful all at the same time. I have come to the conclusion though, that great insights come when we are challenged. So here it goes...

It all started with this body of mine. I got married and figured birth control would simplify my life. I have had friends/family who were on various forms and had no problems or side effects whatsoever. Plus, Cowboy and I wanted time to be married and not rush into babyland. I went to visit the OB/GYN and found it simple enough to get a prescription. I asked good questions and was informed that I shouldn't be worried about side effects or problems. I figured that the doctor's word should be good enough for me. I was good to go for the first few months. I gained some weight, but that was probably good for me anyway. Then I found out my insurance was going to begin paying for contraceptions, but I needed to change brands. I did so, and the nightmare began. I bled. I bled for three straight months. It was painful and exhausting. I called the doctor's office and was given suggestions. I bled more. I went and had more appointments and still bled more. Then I gave up.

In desperation, I confided to my mom, my sisters, and a dear friend. My friend, who had been trying to get pregnant for sometime, suggested an amazing book call Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. I wasn't trying to get pregnant at that time; I was trying to get my body back. I came off birth control and will never get back on it.

I have been working on getting healthy and remaining healthy the last few months. Luckily that book gave me power to discover my next dilemma.

I am somewhat normal now and have been charting my cycles and applying the information I learned in this book to my everyday life. It's been a cool process that has empowered me. One thing that is spoken about in the above book is self breast examinations. I am a young thirty-year old and didn't have cancer on my radar. Then I found the lump. It was tender, obvious, and frightening. I didn't say a word about it for a couple of weeks, because I wasn't sure if it was my hormones playing a trick on me.

It didn't go away. I didn't know who to call or where to start in my journey. You cannot call and schedule a mammogram by yourself. You have to go the doctor's office and they send you to a radiologist for the mammogram, especially if there is concern. I had no clue. Also, insurance doesn't cover a mammogram until you are 35. I scheduled an appointment, asked Cowboy to go with me, anxiously awaited the appointment, prayed continually, and showed up hoping for the best. My voice cracked as I explained to the doctor why I had scheduled this appointment. He preformed an examination, felt the lump, and decided he wanted more tests preformed so we could have decisive information to work with. At this point, I was overwhelmed. What would my life be like from this point on if it was cancer? 

I have an aunt who took on Breast Cancer this past year, and she did it so gracefully. I figured if it was cancer, I would follow her example. 

Needless to say, after a couple ultrasounds and tests were preformed (which insurance does cover) it was determined that I have a fibrous cyst attached to my left breast. It's not malignant at this point, but I need to watch it very carefully. Sigh. 

I had had a silent prayer in my heart for several weeks, and the words from 'How Firm a Foundation' remained with me: 


Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,

For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.

I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand.

I am grateful. I am humbled. I am better educated. Our bodies are miracles and I am amazed by mine.

I am not claiming to be medically smart. If things have worked for you that haven't for me, than more power to you. I just felt like I needed to share with you what has worked for me.

-Alternatives to problems can be found outside and inside a doctor's office.
-You're never too young or too old.
-Learn about your body and its intricate systems.
-Figure out what your body is telling you.
-Listen to it.
-Treat it well.
-Love it for all that it is - a creation of the Most High.
-Pray

Sincerely,

A

P.S. My dear friend that suggested I read the book...she's having a baby. I am so happy for her and her husband. See, miracles do happen.

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